On meeting the 'Godmother of AI'
Reflections on imposter syndrome & joy after a trip out west
Hello friends,
A week and a half ago, I flew to northern California for the launch of Silicon Valley Reads, an amazing community engagement program that selected my novel as one of its featured books for 2025.
It was a trip of firsts for me. It was my first time being mic’d up for an event1, my first time on stage in front of 300+ people, and my first time on a panel with not just authors, but experts.
One of them, a computer scientist so talented that her work has garnered her the nickname: “The Godmother of AI”.
As I was doing some prep work on the plane, I began to experience quite a bit of imposter syndrome. Unlike Dr. Fei-Fei Li (aforementioned godmother), I’m not one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential people in the field of AI. And unlike Ray Nayler, I’ve never won a Locus Award or served as an advisor to the Office of National Marine Sanctuaries (!).
I think most authors and artists go through waves of doubt throughout their career. It’s good to try and come up with ways to pull yourself out of them (though easier said than done.) But in that moment, on that plane, I knew I would need help.
It was ultimately a few texts with my brother that helped shift my mindset. He knows me well, and I trust his advice. He reminded me that Just because you’re a ‘freshman’ on stage with ‘seniors’ doesn’t mean you don’t belong.2
And he was right. The event passed in a blur. I was nervous and tired from the flight, but once I was out there it was also so much fun. I loved hearing what Ray and Dr. Li had to say. I loved being in discussion with them about AI, humanity, and how important it is to keep the conversation going around what we’re building, and how we engage with it.
I’m thankful I didn’t just sit there and wallow, but that I reached out to someone. And I’m thankful my brother knew what to say to help me focus in so I didn’t miss out.
Do you have tactics for dealing with imposter syndrome? With doubt? Can you recognize when you’re in the middle of a wave?
For the last event of the weekend, and the last event3 for my first book, I went to Morgan Hill Library where I was shocked to walk in and find a full house.
When the moderator asked who had read Loneliness & Company, everyone raised their hand. It gave me chills.
Sometimes writing again after you publish for the first time is difficult. It’s hard to get out of your own way. But being in that library room with those readers inspired me. It reminded me of why I write: to connect.
Other inspiration & tidbits
For more on imposter syndrome, Leslie Jamison wrote this piece for The New Yorker in 2023 on ‘Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It’
- (my agent!) wrote a piece on why the second book is so hard to write that’s an interesting read.
Celebrating Valentines/Galentines Day this week? Here are some fun ways to get crafty from Country Living, including making a candy charcuterie board or using food coloring pens to write notes on cookies.
If you’re looking for a new book and want to try something ‘weird’, I loved this round-up from
. I added a bunch of the titles to my list!
Usually there’s a hand-held mic, but something about being hooked up with a headset made it feel so much more official.
I’m not usually one to use wifi on a plane, but thank goodness this flight had it. Also, I paraphrased this of course. I hope it helps others, but it may be a better analogy for anyone who’s played sports or participated in a multi-grade activity in high school or college as the novice.
Until paperback!
thanks for this shout!
"When the moderator asked who had read Loneliness & Company, everyone raised their hand." What an absolute dream <3 Thanks for sharing these magical moments.
It's interesting (slash sad, lol) how our thoughts can sometimes get in the way of truly *receiving* moments of accomplishment. This is sort of adjacent to dealing with imposter syndrome, but I've found it really helpful: when I am incredibly nervous for something, usually due to imposter syndrome (like the first reading I ever did at a bookstore), I remember that "nervous" and "excited" feel really similar in the body. I tell myself, "I'm not nervous, I'm excited." Then I stop saying I'm nervous altogether and completely replace it with "I'm excited!" It is a total lie and I end up walking around repeating, "I'm excited! I'm excited!" in a maniacal & crazed fashion BUT it really does help shift the energy, and in the end I kind of convince myself of it haha.