How to talk (or ask) about art

Especially around the holidays.

Hi friends,

About a month ago, I made a poll on social media asking people if they enjoy talking about their art—especially around the holidays—and the results were mixed.

I’m not surprised. Sharing your writing or drawings or music or whatever it is you’re making—especially when it’s swirly or amorphous—is an unbelievably vulnerable thing. One negative comment or glazed-over bored look could be the fuel that self-doubt clings to.

But…! Sometimes, a single thoughtful question or the genuine enthusiasm of a friend can be the catalyst for a breakthrough.

It’s tricky to navigate because every artist is different. But I would argue that it’s always better to check in, to show curiosity, than to not. (My heart goes out to those 5% of people who wished someone would ask about their projects.)

So here are a few ideas on how to talk with friends about their art, or how to bob and weave as an artist if you’ve hit your limit.

Questions to ask your artist friends

Open-ended questions let someone know you’re interested without putting them on the spot. I also think these are great for any conversation, not just with artists!

• What’s something you’ve been really into or curious about lately?

• Are there any books, movies, or music that have inspired you recently? This gives someone an ‘in’ to talking about their work if they want, but doesn’t force it.

• What’s the best or most thought-provoking conversation you’ve had the past month? (Okay, maybe this is too cheesy. It depends on who you’re chatting with and the vibe.)

• If you want to ask about a specific project, maybe just provide an ‘out’ in case they’re currently tangled up in it. (“I’ve been meaning to ask about that frog riding a motorcycle story, but it’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it.”)

Tips for when you don’t want to talk about your art

…Or maybe you’ve just shared what you’d like to share and are ready to move on.

• Seems simple, but turn the conversation back to others. For example, “Oh, enough about me, what have you been working on lately?” (Thank you to illustrator, Halimah Schmidt, for sharing this idea.)

• Talk about other people or work you’re inspired by/excited about. For example, “Well, speaking of writing, have you read {insert a book}?” Or, ask what they’ve been reading, watching, etc. lately. (Thank you, Kate Brody, author of Rabbit Hole for sharing this one.)

• Or… just be honest. Let someone know where your limits are. (“That’s so kind of you to ask, but I’m actually trying not to think about it right now. I’ll keep you posted though. How’s everything with you?”)

I’m sure there are way more ideas out there for sharing, not sharing, asking, not asking. Do you have tips? Tricks? Preferences?

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Further reading…

• I really loved this piece by

  Andrew Boryga
  about when to toss your manuscript and start over. Talk about being vulnerable and sharing the process!

• This essay really resonated with me on why we need Creative Cohorts.

  Anna Brones
  talks about an energizing residency and provides tips on how to reverse engineer your own creative cohort.

• This piece by

  Sandy Sanchez
  on falling in love with Winter—I love the idea of paying attention to the way the light shifts this time of year.

Wishing you a happy, restful holiday! Look out for some exciting changes to this newsletter in the New Year.

Charlee